Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
