He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
