Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
