Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize