"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
