Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
