a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
