but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
