that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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