Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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