Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
