new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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