One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
