i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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