We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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