what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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