it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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