Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
