At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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