I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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