I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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