I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
