Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
babies were throwing up all over the place
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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