It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
