i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
