Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We left the knife in your bed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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