Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
