the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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