he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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