whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
