My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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