if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
