She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
