I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
