I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
