were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize