let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
