I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
