I'm lost and stupid without you.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
