Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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