Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
