I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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