I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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