i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
