Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
