glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
