Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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