thus making me awesome and them whores
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
