when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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