haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
