She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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