Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
