I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize