You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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