Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
