you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
