CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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