When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
