I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
